Smell that?
Published by Human Head on Wednesday, June 27, 2007 at 3:03 PM.Atlantic Free Press - Hard Truths for Hard Times
Cars have not been permitted to move on the streets of Fallujah for nearly a month now. A ban was also enforced on bicycles, but residents were later granted permission to use them.
"Thank God and President Bush for this great favour," said Ala'a, a 34-year-old schoolteacher. "We are the only city in the liberated world with the blessing now of having bicycles moving freely in the streets."
That's Freedom. Still has the New Freedom smell to it, dontcha think? We could have charged extra for that, but we didn't, because we are kind.
We are Kind. (repeat until you convince yourself of it.)
And hey, was the schoolteacher talking about our righteous God, or the Master of Terrorists, Allah? I mean, we all know GW has an open line to The Man Upstairs* (who obviously approves of invading Iraq, otherwise GW wouldn't have gone that route), but I'm not sure if I like the subtle implication that he might have Allah's phone number--GW does not negotiate with Allah. For God's (the real one) sake, the suggestion borders on the treasonous.
I know, I'm as aghast as you.
*I wonder, what color is GW's GodPhone? Is it Gold? A royal and Imperial purple? Maybe hallelujahfuckingbrilliantWHITE. Maybe it's all three, like a GodPhone of Many Colors. It would make sense, as GW is an awful lot like Joseph in that he is favored among the elite sons and everyone else is jealous, which is why they seek to be rid of him. I have a picture in my mind of GW screaming at Gonzo because someone was using his GodPhone and got it dirty--he spots a fingerprint and is demanding an investigation. He's got an appointment to get drunk and cuss at someone right now, but by God (again, the real one), Gonzo better have the terrorist who used that phone in custody when he gets back, which will of course be a time of the Commander Guy's Decidering. Drops hint that it's likely an Iranian Terrist and leaves, screaming for scotch.--end scene
